(Disclaimer, I realize that is a pearl in a Scollop shell, not an Oyster shell, but I liked the image)...
Namaste and Welcome!

I was 'Down the Cape' (as a true South-of-Boston girl says) this past weekend, visiting family and enjoying the roiling and rolling ocean.  The ocean (just stirring with the beginnings of Blizzard Juno) was kicking up a lot of waves and debris including many many oyster shells.  One of my favorite parts of being on the beach is searching for treasures and this past weekend brought me many.  I drove back to Vermont on Monday, in the beginnings of the predicted monster storm (yikes!), with a collection of oyster shells on the dashboard of my car to keep me company as I headed north through the swirling snow.  They reminded me of a perhaps cliche but important metaphor- that of the pearl in the oyster and a valuable little lesson for us humans from these bivalves.

An oyster produces a pearl (or sometimes many pearls) when some kind of irritation or aggravation gets lodged inside of it's soft, fleshy interior.  This irritant could be as tiny as a grain of sand, or a piece of shell, stone or bone (you can already see where I am headed with this oyster tale).  Anyhow, when the foreign object gets lodged in the oyster flesh, the oyster responds by coating the object with layer upon layer of calcium carbonate or nacre (as it's more commonly known).  This nacre is the exact same material that creates the oyster's shell and the layers that form align perfectly on a microscopic level to reflect and refract the light, giving the pearl it's incredible iridescence and marvelous color-range.  Pearls can be pink, white, lavender, blue, black, yellow and a host of other wild colors.  In some mythological tales pearls are said to be the tears of the Gods, filled with moonlight and swallowed up by oysters!  But I digress...

All of us have probably encountered irritating and aggravating people, situations, events or circumstances- sometimes even the smallest irritation feels like it causes us deep pain and suffering.  If we are to learn from the pearl and align with the situation or person in a skillful way, we might discover that deep inside of us and embedded deep inside of that circumstance, there is treasure to behold.  Weather it be one tiny pearl or an entire elegant strand of learnings and teachings, there is an opportunity to find the wisdom deep within.  This is the path of the yogi.  Just as bees gather nectar and transform it into sweet golden honey, so too can we transform even a deep irritation into something of beauty and value.  We can emulate the humble oyster.  

Of course, a easier path might be to just blame that outside person or event for ruining our lives or causing us pain or suffering; it takes courage to let go of victimhood and claim the pearls.  Never the less it is possible, it just takes a little deep sea diving.  I know for me, when I am aggravated with someone for example, my initial reaction might be to blame them, judge them and find fault in what they have done to me (sound familiar??!!).  A more skillful response might be to take responsibility for our part to play, get on our hip waders and dive into that ocean of inquiry with compassion and curiosity.  We might ask ourselves some questions such as, 'What is the deeper teaching here for me?', 'What can I learn from this situation?', or 'How will this help me to be more clear about what I truly want?'.  

When we can bravely head out to the oyster beds of our souls, get radically honest with ourselves, and go right to the center of that shell (our hearts), what do we find?  Oftentimes I find that when I am irritated or aggravated, it's because I'm not accepting a person, situation or event as it is, wanting it to be different and expending a lot of energy trying to make it so.  When I trust, soften and allow life to be as it is, something inside of my heart softens and the irritation lessens or dissolves all together.  
What is the current grain of sand irritant in your life?  What is the teaching?  Can you find a pearl?  Let me know about it- I would love to hear!  And, happy oystering!  

Asana Suggestions:  Align with the breath and try some deep breathing practices to coat, layer upon layer, any irritation or aggravation that might be occurring in your practice.  Ocean breath (Ujjayi Pranayama) is a great breath practice to try.  Challenge yourself to try a few poses that normally cause you aggravation or that you don't like and see if you find some pearls of wisdom in those poses.  Why are you averse to them and what might you learn from them?

Contemplations to Deepen Your Practice:
* Think of a current irritating person or situation in your life (or one in the recent past), large or small:  Is there a pearl of wisdom, teaching or lesson embedded deep inside that circumstance?
* When you encounter an irritating person or situation, what is your initial response?  Is it to blame the 'other' or to turn and look at what this situation is pointing to inside of your own being?
* Is it possible to learn from any given situation or person and also have very good boundaries and take care of yourself- perhaps removing yourself from any potentially harmful or toxic person, place, job, relationship, etc. (even if in some ways you love/adore that person, place, job or relationship)? Sometimes it's appropriate to grab the pearls and run far far away!
* Journal or share (with a friend) one of your most challenging life circumstances (think of something particularly aggravating, toxic or repulsive) and the most potent or powerful teaching that you discovered.  How did your life change or how are you a different person because of it?

Inspirational Readings:
Yoga's Gift by Danna Faulds

Merge movement with 
unchanging stillness.
Blend stretch with breath
and depth-mind awareness.
Bridging the inner and 
outer realms is yoga's gift, 
to peel away until the truth
is indisputable, and I am
left suspended like
a drop of dew, poised
and lucid in the quiet.

I'd love to hear from you- please make a comment by clicking on Comments.  Thank you!

Namaste & Welcome!

I find myself in an interesting (and unusual for me) predicament these days.  I am not 'very busy'.  Typically when someone asks me how I am, I respond with something like, 'Well, I have been really busy with xyz' (fill in the blank).  However, with the sale of my business fully complete, and the fall retreat season over and now that we are experiencing the 'dead of winter' here in VT, I am just not as busy as I usually am.  In some ways this feels nice, and in other ways it feels uncomfortable and strange.  I have found myself feeling a little restless and even (dare I say it) bored.  In a culture that rewards us for over-achieving and having every moment of our time scheduled, well, it's just not umm, SEXY, to be relaxed and spacious.  Surgeon General's Warning:  Blank space on our ICals has been known to cause panic, as well as other serious side effects such as feelings of inadequacy, guilt or shame.

I know that in due time, I will be busy again, but in the meantime, I have been contemplating what it's like to feel spacious and how uncomfortable it can feel when we are faced with unstructured or 'free' time.  I have a tendency to feel guilty if I am not doing something most moments of the day, working on a big project or retreat or gazing off along the horizon at some epic upcoming adventure or plan.  Which leads me to my next question...since when did we become so addicted to being busy and when did we become human doings, rather than human beings?

As a child (even back in the 70's) I remember strongly resisting many of the planned activities and social obligations we as children were told we 'had' to attend because I just wanted to 'stay at home'.  Looking back at my childhood, my fondest memories were not the dinner parties, ballet classes or sports events, but our family trips to Cape Cod or Maine where we would spend a long, slow week doing, well, not much of anything.  In truth, we were doing things, but these things were idle and blessed and revolved around the rhythms of nature- getting up for an early swim in the pond, lazily looking for frogs in the afternoon, or cooking s'mores over a campfire at sunset.  I absolutely loved landing in one spot for an entire week or two with loads of unstructured time.  To this day I am grateful to my parents for this gift they offered us.  I'm still joyously fulfilled plunking myself down on one strip of beach or a remote mountain cabin for a week with not much to DO.

However, these days, even when I 'try' to take a vacation, I somehow find that my computer comes with me and it's very hard to resist the compulsion to keep checking messages, texts, calls and emails, even for a few hours!  Again, how did we get this way??!!  Even as I write this blog, I had to turn off my phone, set a boundary on my time and really focus in, so as not to be distracted by the many other things that call out to me.  Last weekend, I attended a women's retreat in Vermont's Northeast Kingdom.  In a maverick decision, I chose not to bring my computer and as luck would have it, there was no cell reception where we were.  I found myself opening up to nature in a much more present and less distracted kind of a way. I reveled in the subtle beauty of the Vermont winter landscape in a way that I might not have, had my devices been working.  I sat and drank tea (not in front of a computer screen) while watching tiny snowflakes fall and took a long walk (without my phone) and stood in awe at the way the wind had played with the snow in an open meadow creating the most gorgeous undulating curves.  In short, rather than technology having my full attention, mother nature did.  

Another by-product of being 'too busy' is that we rarely have time for each other.  To really sit with an 'other', look into their eyes, be present and ask, 'How is your heart'?  Not just, 'How are you?', but how is your heart, your soul, how are you feeling and what is most alive in you today?  When we do carve out this time for one another, we might feel guilty or like we really should 'get going' or we really should 'be working' or we really should 'get a life'...and the list goes on!  Maybe what we really should be doing is just being here- with our loved ones, with the land, with our hearts in all of their passing states of being.  It is a rare gift these days to be truly and utterly present with ourselves or another being.   It is truly a gift to allow ourselves to be human beings and to let some of the compulsion for doing take a back seat.  In this new year, I dare you to give it a try and please let me know how it goes; I would love to hear your own stories of just BEING.

Asana Suggestions:  Deep hip openers often have the effect of bringing us right into our bodies and the present moment, as well as meditation and pranayama.  Heart-opening poses help to get us in touch with what the heart is feeling, needing or wanting in the moment.

Contemplations & Suggestions to Deepen Your Practice:
* When was the last time you felt idle or bored?  If it was back in 4th grade, that might be something to look at!  What are your personal thought or judgements about being idle or bored?
* When you have free or unstructured time on your hands, do you react by:  A) Immediately looking for ways to fill in that gap B) Feeling so excited that you have free time and relish that fact that you can do nothing for a little while C) You fill in the blank here!
* Stop whatever you are doing and ask yourself, 'How is my heart doing today?'  What do I feel or need in this moment?  'What is most alive in me and my life?'
* This week, take the time to ask a loved one, friend or even stranger, 'How is your heart these days?'
* Take a technology break:  We put these limits on our children and maybe we need to put them on ourselves too.  For an hour a day or a day each week or a week each year, totally unplug.  Leave all the devices aside (or at least turn them off), light a candle, and mark that time as sacred.  What wonderful things could you do or how would you just be, with the time you are not on technology?  

Inspirational Readings:
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.

At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"

I would LOVE to hear from you!  Please leave a comment by clicking on Comments at the top or bottom of this page.